I hate 8th graders

picture this. there are 3 1/2 weeks left of school. we are working on slavery and reconstruction with my "difficult" class. today, my two students who i haven't seen for months are both here. one of the girls i saw less than 10 times and by the end of October, she stopped coming to school. when i asked her in October why she didn't come, she couldn't give me a decent answer. yet when she does show up to school, she always manages to complete her work neatly and quietly. this was also her pattern in 7th grade. my other student was similar. she was absent 2-4 days repeatedly in 7th grade. by the end of last year, she was pregnant. she entered my class in September, belly full and determined to turn her life around. her 20+ year old boyfriend had been deported back to Mexico (don't get me started on this guy) and she was trying to do the right thing and finish school. yet, little by little, her attendance became more shaky. she eventually stopped coming all together. i saw her once after she had her baby in January and not again...until today. yet she too sits quietly and asks questions and tries to finish her work. she was my first pregnant girl, but unfortunately not my only.

as i survey the room, i realize that no more than 5 of these kids will graduate- if that. i have fought with this group all year and often felt like i was fighting a losing battle. 2 pregnant girls, half of my class being kicked out or leaving, and a host of other students, some of whom are extremely disrespectful and lacking motivation. i have had to suppress the urge to knock the hell out of kids who decide to curse and get mouthy when i ask them to listen or behave. i have been repeatedly frustrated at their encouragement of our classroom thief, a student who is constantly teased for being slow and smelly- yet when its time to steal, he is encouraged to do so. and unfortunately, he usually does. and always gets caught.

i try to stay motivated myself in this mess of a class that i have. unlike last year, where we came together at the end, i dont see the same level of effort at the end. by this time last year, the majority of my apathetic class was working hard to prove to me (and themselves) that they could succeed and some were even able to graduate. but this year, as final graduation lists are due in two days, i still have students asking what their grades are and if they have a chance. and as i ask them if they have the projects due on friday, they look embarrassed and shake their heads no. i ask how they can graduate without work, yet i never seem to get an answer. it makes me wonder why i try sometimes.

in a clas where i usually dont have more than 3 or 4 girls and a class full of behavior problem boys, it is always a challenge. it reminds me why i dont want to stay in the classroom, why i lose my optimism every day i come in and deal with this bs. i am proud, however, that i have yet to literally cuss out my class. it has been a battle of willpower and callin on Jesus.

why am i here????

oh yea, i almost forgot. i have 16 days of school yet, many of which will not be real instructional days.

holler.

(ok i'm done venting now. just needed to get that off my chest...oh yea, and btw, the demon child in my class kicked my partner teacher in the shin and stepped on her foot today. classic)