picture this. there are 3 1/2 weeks left of school. we are working on slavery and reconstruction with my "difficult" class. today, my two students who i haven't seen for months are both here. one of the girls i saw less than 10 times and by the end of October, she stopped coming to school. when i asked her in October why she didn't come, she couldn't give me a decent answer. yet when she does show up to school, she always manages to complete her work neatly and quietly. this was also her pattern in 7th grade. my other student was similar. she was absent 2-4 days repeatedly in 7th grade. by the end of last year, she was pregnant. she entered my class in September, belly full and determined to turn her life around. her 20+ year old boyfriend had been deported back to Mexico (don't get me started on this guy) and she was trying to do the right thing and finish school. yet, little by little, her attendance became more shaky. she eventually stopped coming all together. i saw her once after she had her baby in January and not again...until today. yet she too sits quietly and asks questions and tries to finish her work. she was my first pregnant girl, but unfortunately not my only.
as i survey the room, i realize that no more than 5 of these kids will graduate- if that. i have fought with this group all year and often felt like i was fighting a losing battle. 2 pregnant girls, half of my class being kicked out or leaving, and a host of other students, some of whom are extremely disrespectful and lacking motivation. i have had to suppress the urge to knock the hell out of kids who decide to curse and get mouthy when i ask them to listen or behave. i have been repeatedly frustrated at their encouragement of our classroom thief, a student who is constantly teased for being slow and smelly- yet when its time to steal, he is encouraged to do so. and unfortunately, he usually does. and always gets caught.
i try to stay motivated myself in this mess of a class that i have. unlike last year, where we came together at the end, i dont see the same level of effort at the end. by this time last year, the majority of my apathetic class was working hard to prove to me (and themselves) that they could succeed and some were even able to graduate. but this year, as final graduation lists are due in two days, i still have students asking what their grades are and if they have a chance. and as i ask them if they have the projects due on friday, they look embarrassed and shake their heads no. i ask how they can graduate without work, yet i never seem to get an answer. it makes me wonder why i try sometimes.
in a clas where i usually dont have more than 3 or 4 girls and a class full of behavior problem boys, it is always a challenge. it reminds me why i dont want to stay in the classroom, why i lose my optimism every day i come in and deal with this bs. i am proud, however, that i have yet to literally cuss out my class. it has been a battle of willpower and callin on Jesus.
why am i here????
oh yea, i almost forgot. i have 16 days of school yet, many of which will not be real instructional days.
holler.
(ok i'm done venting now. just needed to get that off my chest...oh yea, and btw, the demon child in my class kicked my partner teacher in the shin and stepped on her foot today. classic)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I'm in love with a....
Stripper!!! That's how the song goes right? in society, stripping and pole dancing has been previously viewed as a taboo subject, something that only women with low morals do. its seen as degrading to women and no respectable woman should ever engage in it. well...i'm here to set the record straight.
i have a confession. i take pole classes. i have for a little over a year now. yes, i can climb up a pole and slide down in a variety of ways. i can spin, flip upside down, do a 'helicopter' (use your imagination) and a variety of other things. and you know what? I LOVE IT!!! if you are a woman, no matter how conservative, i suggest you give it a try. as a lover of dance in general, i immediately found myself loving it when i took my first class at S factor in early 2008. i was skeptical of spending several hundred dollars for a pole dancing class but i started and immediately i was hooked. it became an expensive habit. i set aside money every session to make sure i could move on to the next level where the tricks got harder, the movement became more natural, and i gained a new level of confidence. i am now at level 6 (the highest level) and at this point, its learning how to be more gravity-defying, dangerous and smooth in what i learn. and its worth every penny.
but what makes this class so amazing? so every week, i go to class for 2 hours in the evening. the first hour is made up of a slow warm up, allowing you to relax and let your mind stop running from your crazy week. the lights are dim and red, the room is still and calm, and the teacher is slowly and seductively leading you thru a warm up and stretch. women of all ages and sizes are in the class, warming up in a variety of pilates, yoga and stretching techniques that build your muscle and body enough to do the activities. then you begin to move on your own. whether it is doing simple pole tricks, dancing on or near the wall, on the floor or in the middle of the room, you are a part of your own private dance. its amazing. then you learn new pole tricks or work on the ones you already know. and finally, it's time to dance. you choose your music, sometimes based on a theme set by the studio. and then you dance. any type of heels, clothing and props you want, you use. if you want to use a big chair, you do it. if you wanna spend the whole time spinning on the pole, it's your world. if you never want to leave the wall and the floor, then get it girl. it is the ultimate girl power move.
why would any respectable woman do this? for me, i wanted to try something new and gain a bit of confidence in this type of movement. for others, they want to entertain their husband or significant other. some do it for fitness reasons. whatever your reason, i doubt many people who try it dislike it. it is awesome. even though i will be leaving mid-august, i debate enrolling in one more session because i have a bit of time left. i also debate buying a pole to take with me to law school so i can practice when i get bored. but the point is, i have loved every minute of it. why don't you try it? I have attached the link for where i take classes. give it a try. u may find a new level of liberation as you slide down a pole and get cheered and encouraged by your girls.
go ahead and try it. dont be scared. no one has to know but u! ;)
http://www.sfactor.com/
i have a confession. i take pole classes. i have for a little over a year now. yes, i can climb up a pole and slide down in a variety of ways. i can spin, flip upside down, do a 'helicopter' (use your imagination) and a variety of other things. and you know what? I LOVE IT!!! if you are a woman, no matter how conservative, i suggest you give it a try. as a lover of dance in general, i immediately found myself loving it when i took my first class at S factor in early 2008. i was skeptical of spending several hundred dollars for a pole dancing class but i started and immediately i was hooked. it became an expensive habit. i set aside money every session to make sure i could move on to the next level where the tricks got harder, the movement became more natural, and i gained a new level of confidence. i am now at level 6 (the highest level) and at this point, its learning how to be more gravity-defying, dangerous and smooth in what i learn. and its worth every penny.
but what makes this class so amazing? so every week, i go to class for 2 hours in the evening. the first hour is made up of a slow warm up, allowing you to relax and let your mind stop running from your crazy week. the lights are dim and red, the room is still and calm, and the teacher is slowly and seductively leading you thru a warm up and stretch. women of all ages and sizes are in the class, warming up in a variety of pilates, yoga and stretching techniques that build your muscle and body enough to do the activities. then you begin to move on your own. whether it is doing simple pole tricks, dancing on or near the wall, on the floor or in the middle of the room, you are a part of your own private dance. its amazing. then you learn new pole tricks or work on the ones you already know. and finally, it's time to dance. you choose your music, sometimes based on a theme set by the studio. and then you dance. any type of heels, clothing and props you want, you use. if you want to use a big chair, you do it. if you wanna spend the whole time spinning on the pole, it's your world. if you never want to leave the wall and the floor, then get it girl. it is the ultimate girl power move.
why would any respectable woman do this? for me, i wanted to try something new and gain a bit of confidence in this type of movement. for others, they want to entertain their husband or significant other. some do it for fitness reasons. whatever your reason, i doubt many people who try it dislike it. it is awesome. even though i will be leaving mid-august, i debate enrolling in one more session because i have a bit of time left. i also debate buying a pole to take with me to law school so i can practice when i get bored. but the point is, i have loved every minute of it. why don't you try it? I have attached the link for where i take classes. give it a try. u may find a new level of liberation as you slide down a pole and get cheered and encouraged by your girls.
go ahead and try it. dont be scared. no one has to know but u! ;)
http://www.sfactor.com/
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Pura Vida Part I
I took these quotes from my facebook as a start to this series of traveling blogs. Costa Rica was such an amazing experience for me and i learned a lot about life and myself. it was not the first time out of the country...but only the 2nd time that counted (the first was Mexico when I was 6 and the 2nd was Paris when I was in 10th grade). but Costa Rica is where everything changed in my life. here are a few quotes that sum up some of the best times i had there. hope they make sense.
(Disclaimer: even though most people who read this wont think its funny, there are about 5 people in the world who think its hilarious and will cry from laughing so hard every time they read it. thats enough for me. throwback to fall 05, ISA in Costa Rica)
Quotes from Costa Rica:
Unofficial way of life: Tranquila Matadora...translation: chill killa ( first introduced by a cute Tica guy who my girl Honeybee quickly snatched up. he was probably high at the time)
Honeybee: (as we chill at a reggae club where we are constantly harrassed by drunk ass costa ricans) "Me gusta you....oooh, no me gusta him"
"hey novio" to Shaun...poor thing, LOL (in response to Shaun, our ever so respectful late 20's homeboy who was in the program with us. always the gentleman, he never took advantage of Honey despite all of her flirting. always funny to watch him get molested)
"Im gonna f*****cate with Colon!!!! Im just playin....(hahaha) no im not" (actually...she wasn't playing. it went dooooooown in Costa Rica...not me tho!)
"No yo tiengue"
PERDON!!!
Heavenlymaize, yo a** is ignorant.
Get the f*** outta here! (i picked up this phrase for months afterwards. this was said whenever somebody said something unbelievable by Honeybee)
Buenos Dais shawty! (i love the mix of spanish, spanglish, and ghetto english...always classic)
"Your acting like a b*tch a** baby" (in response to her cute Costa Rican's homeboy. he tried to have a lil fling with our other girl and he acted like...well, read the quote)
"Diez y Cinco" (another example of what happens when people don't focus on spanish in a spanish-speaking country. lol)
"Porque?" (to everything she doesn't understand)
"Chaaaayze" (Really it says cheese but she said it like that when she was imitating a video hoe)
"she hit me in the neck with an umbrella and it left a scratch on my neck. then when asked her why she did it, she said she wanted to know if it could be used a a weapon" (ok so here was the deal. we had a very...uh...unique friend named Sarafina [named changed to protect the guilty]. she liked Honeybee's dude and continuously flirted with him, but to no avail. Honey was all that he was focused on. so eventually, Sarafina got upset. and so, she decides to use her umbrella as a device to plot her revenge)
My mama tica (host mom): keep in mind that she speaks spanish. so everything is said with an accent in limited english.
yea baby, yea
Es muy weird
FiFi: sorry (with a spanish accent)
Sarafina:
Taxistas Tramposas!!! (actually, the cab drivers were the biggest jerks ever. they were constantly tryna rip us off and eventually we refused to pay one of them because he tried to take the 15 minute ride to a bar that was 5 minutes away. bastard)
Cual es su problema? (after being stopped at the border. soooo here is the story. she tells us that she was stopped for some bogus reason. what really happened was she almost got caught smuggling weed across the border from Nicaragua to Costa Rica. the dogs sniffed it on the bus and she got held up.)
she put a spell on me (she stays with some chick while visiting Cuba. the lady puts a spell on her in the middle of the night and for the next few days, she can't use the bathroom. she also gets jacked for all of her stuff by some hot Cubano after trusting him enough to have him in her spot. and she was surprised she got robbed...sigh. sexiness doesn't mean they won't rob u. duh. )
Me:
girl i know why ur sick. u better be careful of those STDs. U might get Sexually Transmitted Dengue. (so this was after some nasty Jersey girl gets sick, which means Dengue and some other girl gets Mono. yuckity yuck yuck)
My family came on a ship too, but it sure as hell wasnt no Mayflower....why ya'll laughin, im serious. (i'm sorry, coming on the Mayflower is way different than the damn Amistad. feel me?)
We're definitely gonna die (as i watch the chaos of cars as we try to cross the street. if u think LA driving is bad, go to a foreign country. ur opinion will be forever changed)
hopefully it makes sense. if not, i'm entertained for simply remembering these things. man, almost 4 years ago and it almost feels like yesterday.
PURA VIDA
(Disclaimer: even though most people who read this wont think its funny, there are about 5 people in the world who think its hilarious and will cry from laughing so hard every time they read it. thats enough for me. throwback to fall 05, ISA in Costa Rica)
Quotes from Costa Rica:
Unofficial way of life: Tranquila Matadora...translation: chill killa ( first introduced by a cute Tica guy who my girl Honeybee quickly snatched up. he was probably high at the time)
Honeybee: (as we chill at a reggae club where we are constantly harrassed by drunk ass costa ricans) "Me gusta you....oooh, no me gusta him"
"hey novio" to Shaun...poor thing, LOL (in response to Shaun, our ever so respectful late 20's homeboy who was in the program with us. always the gentleman, he never took advantage of Honey despite all of her flirting. always funny to watch him get molested)
"Im gonna f*****cate with Colon!!!! Im just playin....(hahaha) no im not" (actually...she wasn't playing. it went dooooooown in Costa Rica...not me tho!)
"No yo tiengue"
PERDON!!!
Heavenlymaize, yo a** is ignorant.
Get the f*** outta here! (i picked up this phrase for months afterwards. this was said whenever somebody said something unbelievable by Honeybee)
Buenos Dais shawty! (i love the mix of spanish, spanglish, and ghetto english...always classic)
"Your acting like a b*tch a** baby" (in response to her cute Costa Rican's homeboy. he tried to have a lil fling with our other girl and he acted like...well, read the quote)
"Diez y Cinco" (another example of what happens when people don't focus on spanish in a spanish-speaking country. lol)
"Porque?" (to everything she doesn't understand)
"Chaaaayze" (Really it says cheese but she said it like that when she was imitating a video hoe)
"she hit me in the neck with an umbrella and it left a scratch on my neck. then when asked her why she did it, she said she wanted to know if it could be used a a weapon" (ok so here was the deal. we had a very...uh...unique friend named Sarafina [named changed to protect the guilty]. she liked Honeybee's dude and continuously flirted with him, but to no avail. Honey was all that he was focused on. so eventually, Sarafina got upset. and so, she decides to use her umbrella as a device to plot her revenge)
My mama tica (host mom): keep in mind that she speaks spanish. so everything is said with an accent in limited english.
yea baby, yea
Es muy weird
FiFi: sorry (with a spanish accent)
Sarafina:
Taxistas Tramposas!!! (actually, the cab drivers were the biggest jerks ever. they were constantly tryna rip us off and eventually we refused to pay one of them because he tried to take the 15 minute ride to a bar that was 5 minutes away. bastard)
Cual es su problema? (after being stopped at the border. soooo here is the story. she tells us that she was stopped for some bogus reason. what really happened was she almost got caught smuggling weed across the border from Nicaragua to Costa Rica. the dogs sniffed it on the bus and she got held up.)
she put a spell on me (she stays with some chick while visiting Cuba. the lady puts a spell on her in the middle of the night and for the next few days, she can't use the bathroom. she also gets jacked for all of her stuff by some hot Cubano after trusting him enough to have him in her spot. and she was surprised she got robbed...sigh. sexiness doesn't mean they won't rob u. duh. )
Me:
girl i know why ur sick. u better be careful of those STDs. U might get Sexually Transmitted Dengue. (so this was after some nasty Jersey girl gets sick, which means Dengue and some other girl gets Mono. yuckity yuck yuck)
My family came on a ship too, but it sure as hell wasnt no Mayflower....why ya'll laughin, im serious. (i'm sorry, coming on the Mayflower is way different than the damn Amistad. feel me?)
We're definitely gonna die (as i watch the chaos of cars as we try to cross the street. if u think LA driving is bad, go to a foreign country. ur opinion will be forever changed)
hopefully it makes sense. if not, i'm entertained for simply remembering these things. man, almost 4 years ago and it almost feels like yesterday.
PURA VIDA
My travels...
Inspired by my new favorite blogger, I am going to start posting about my trips abroad. i always wished i was a journal writer when i traveled. well now i can do that and i've always wanted to get this stuff out before i forget. it will take a while but i can't wait. ahhhh, i love traveling. stay tuned...
My dream world
I am somewhat of a dreamer. i'm also a big nerd (and i'm not ashamed to admit it). in my dream world, this is what would happen over the next 10 years.
i would attend Michigan (actually happening, not a dream, praise JESUS) and get all A's after my first year. i will then get a job working with the ACLU or some other dope non-profit in Philly (ahhh, how I love that city) for the first half of the summer, then work at a big firm in NYC for the other half. i will also become a writer for the Law Review journal at Michigan for my second and 3rd year. i will work in an amazing clinic, dealing with civil and educational rights for children and my people who will def need help in Detroit, as well as taking amazing classes that challenge me and convince me i'm a civil rights genius. my second summer will be working abroad (where, I dunno) working on women and girl's issues and their rights. my 3rd year i'll do more amazing clinical work and take dope classes and know that i'm a genius. then i'll graduate, work at a judicial clerkship for a year or two on the east coast in a really cool district. i will get a job for a year or two at the department of education in D.C. and finally, i will come back to LA to work for the ACLU as a lead attorney. eventually, i'll open up my own civil rights firm and make good money defending people from the evils of this world. man, i'll be a law goddess.
...and somewhere in this plan, i'll get married and eventually have kids. lol.
i would attend Michigan (actually happening, not a dream, praise JESUS) and get all A's after my first year. i will then get a job working with the ACLU or some other dope non-profit in Philly (ahhh, how I love that city) for the first half of the summer, then work at a big firm in NYC for the other half. i will also become a writer for the Law Review journal at Michigan for my second and 3rd year. i will work in an amazing clinic, dealing with civil and educational rights for children and my people who will def need help in Detroit, as well as taking amazing classes that challenge me and convince me i'm a civil rights genius. my second summer will be working abroad (where, I dunno) working on women and girl's issues and their rights. my 3rd year i'll do more amazing clinical work and take dope classes and know that i'm a genius. then i'll graduate, work at a judicial clerkship for a year or two on the east coast in a really cool district. i will get a job for a year or two at the department of education in D.C. and finally, i will come back to LA to work for the ACLU as a lead attorney. eventually, i'll open up my own civil rights firm and make good money defending people from the evils of this world. man, i'll be a law goddess.
...and somewhere in this plan, i'll get married and eventually have kids. lol.
Friday, May 15, 2009
A light...
As i sat in bible study last night, we discussed mercy and grace, which of course led to a deeper convo about how we treat others. it also tied in to the topic last week about forgiving our enemies. and it made me begin to think..do we bestow the same grace and mercy on those who do wrong around us? do we forgive our enemies? but even worse, do we forgive our friends and loved ones? what does forgiveness, grace and mercy mean in our lives? i have thought a lot about people who have truly hurt me and i realized that my forgiveness of them was very surface. i realized that there were a few key people that i still harbor ill feelings towards (if you know me, u can probably guess at least 1 or 2 of these people). it made me realize that i still have a lot of work in that department. but that was last week...
so this week, we talked about being a light to others. if someone meets you or knows you, do they know you are a Christian without you telling them or announcing it? do your actions support your beliefs, or do you live two separate lives...Sunday at church vs. Monday thru Saturday night. it made me think about the way i have lived my own life. i feel that when people think of me, they see a good person. someone who is passionate, energetic, intelligent, and overall a caring and compassionate person. but this is what troubled me...when people see me, do they see God? that concerns me because as i look over my life, i feel that people that i've known for an extended period of time may not see that, based on my actions. that is something i am trying to work on because it is no good to have these beliefs but i can't put them into action. if you don't see Christ when you see me, then where is all of my faith going? i can look back over my life and recall very specific people who i see as Spirit-filled people. they were by no means perfect and they made mistakes. but thru it all, God still was obviously in their lives and they tried their best to exemplify that as much as possible.
what will people think of me? will they say that i am Spirit-filled? am i a light?
are you?
so this week, we talked about being a light to others. if someone meets you or knows you, do they know you are a Christian without you telling them or announcing it? do your actions support your beliefs, or do you live two separate lives...Sunday at church vs. Monday thru Saturday night. it made me think about the way i have lived my own life. i feel that when people think of me, they see a good person. someone who is passionate, energetic, intelligent, and overall a caring and compassionate person. but this is what troubled me...when people see me, do they see God? that concerns me because as i look over my life, i feel that people that i've known for an extended period of time may not see that, based on my actions. that is something i am trying to work on because it is no good to have these beliefs but i can't put them into action. if you don't see Christ when you see me, then where is all of my faith going? i can look back over my life and recall very specific people who i see as Spirit-filled people. they were by no means perfect and they made mistakes. but thru it all, God still was obviously in their lives and they tried their best to exemplify that as much as possible.
what will people think of me? will they say that i am Spirit-filled? am i a light?
are you?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Quarterlife Crisis
today i began reading an article called the quarterlife crisis. what is funny is that i could already predict what it was going to discuss because i am gradually entering that time period. at 24, i see the end moving in on me. by the end, i mean the end of school, fun and freedom. that means that these last 3 years of law school are the last bits of education i will ever receive (damnit)! as a certified schoolgirl, nerd, bookworm, etc., the idea that the next 3 years are my last time in school, it is a little scary. and even with law school, it wont be like undergrad. i can't spend random summers or semesters abroad- all of my work experience must be focused; otherwise, i may not be able to get the type of job i want. this is as good as school is gonna get from here. and after that...marriage? kids? mortgage? is anyone else scared about that? maybe its just me, but the closer i get to getting married, the scarier it is. i am all for the happy ending but not if that is tomorrow. a happy ending means the end of freedom and choice and independence. what do you think?
check out the article if you want:
http://www.eyeweekly.com/features/article/55882
check out the article if you want:
http://www.eyeweekly.com/features/article/55882
Monday, May 11, 2009
I am not a blogger...
It's true. I am not a blogger. And yet, here i am writing a blog about myself. I have said for the past two years that I wish I blogged more often because i've had so many memorable experiences that I feel need to be recorded. So even if no one ever reads this, maybe I can look back in 5 years and reflect on all that I have experienced. Since graduating from high school in 2003 i have:
So yesterday, i just received my 2nd degree, a M.A. in Elementary Education from blah blah blah University. I got this degree by teaching for the past two years and this was my academic culmination of that experience. While I have 6 weeks left of teaching, i do feel like my time is drawing near...and i'm excited! i attended an alumni dinner with my TFA colleagues last week and i realized that my experience was almost over and i would soon be an alumni and it made me reflect on my experience. i never regreted teaching for two years but it has literally shaped me into an entirely different person. i am no longer the person who keeps my mouth shut on issues i believe in. i have seen that i can be a true role model and manage a class of 37 8th graders (although not always seamlessly). i have raised test scores, invested students who were on the path to the gang life to focus on school, and practically pulled my hair out. i have done countless assignments that don't help me learn how to manage a kid that tells me to fuck off because i refuse to do what he asks. or that don't tell me how to get parents to take responsibility for their God-awful child. i have experienced the most difficult 2 years of my life (although strangely enough, i have experienced other periods of intense stress and insanity) and i am thankful i've made it thru. God has been looking out for me the past 2 years because they have been so difficult and receiving my Masters yesterday was not only significant because i have a new degree, but because it signifies 2 years of struggle, stress, heartache, hopelessness, optimisim, cynicism and a million other emotions. i have again broken down barriers and managed to accomplish something else amazing.
this is a lot to read on a first time encounter, but it's important to get these feelings out. the happiness i felt yesterday will soon fade and i dont want to forget. don't be overwhelmed, u will get caught up gradually. u may not know me well, but in time u will. just stay tuned.
- attended a prestigious university known for its amazing research and received a B.A. in '07
- been the president of a sorority while in school
- become the big sister of two adopted kids (who surprising look like me)
- committed to teach 8th grade for two years in an impoverished, urban community in a large metropolitan city known for its intense gang violence (thru Teach for America)
- taken the LSAT, applied to schools, stressed myself out, and finally been admitted to many amazing schools, including 2 top 10 law schools
- committed to attending one of those top 10 law schools where i will spend the next 3 years moving from sun to extreme cold weather and snow
- endured a loving and tumultuous relationship with my boyfriend, one that i know will be affected by attending law school
- fought to maintain my relationship with God
So yesterday, i just received my 2nd degree, a M.A. in Elementary Education from blah blah blah University. I got this degree by teaching for the past two years and this was my academic culmination of that experience. While I have 6 weeks left of teaching, i do feel like my time is drawing near...and i'm excited! i attended an alumni dinner with my TFA colleagues last week and i realized that my experience was almost over and i would soon be an alumni and it made me reflect on my experience. i never regreted teaching for two years but it has literally shaped me into an entirely different person. i am no longer the person who keeps my mouth shut on issues i believe in. i have seen that i can be a true role model and manage a class of 37 8th graders (although not always seamlessly). i have raised test scores, invested students who were on the path to the gang life to focus on school, and practically pulled my hair out. i have done countless assignments that don't help me learn how to manage a kid that tells me to fuck off because i refuse to do what he asks. or that don't tell me how to get parents to take responsibility for their God-awful child. i have experienced the most difficult 2 years of my life (although strangely enough, i have experienced other periods of intense stress and insanity) and i am thankful i've made it thru. God has been looking out for me the past 2 years because they have been so difficult and receiving my Masters yesterday was not only significant because i have a new degree, but because it signifies 2 years of struggle, stress, heartache, hopelessness, optimisim, cynicism and a million other emotions. i have again broken down barriers and managed to accomplish something else amazing.
this is a lot to read on a first time encounter, but it's important to get these feelings out. the happiness i felt yesterday will soon fade and i dont want to forget. don't be overwhelmed, u will get caught up gradually. u may not know me well, but in time u will. just stay tuned.
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